Life with Afroeuropean children

I think I have told you guys that I have four kids. My first son is Hungarian, the three smaller ones are Igbo-Hungarian. So that is how I have realized that raising mixed children is totally different from raising white ones. Naturally there are a lot of issues which are exactly the same. Like how to treat tantrums, how to feed, how to treat certain behaviours, or how to maintain a close relationship even in teenage years. But there are certain topics that you do not really have to get busy with, when you have a white kid. By us, the issue of racism was not really a topic with my first son, because he was only 3 when I met my second husband, so for him it became natural at a tender age that our family has become multikulti… the only problem he had for a while was that he did not understand what the guy was saying, as he did not speak English then. He never cared about the different skin colour, even though he had never seen a black person before /that is village life…/. Kids are really colour blind. It is us adults who teach them later to differentiate and develop prejudice. 

Later I gave birth to my Afroeuropean kids and that is when I realized that there is a lot for me to learn, teach and experience. My best teachers are my kids. Loving black people comes from their hearts. They keep greeting Africans in the street. If we are in the car, I have to pull down the back windows so that they can shout a “Hallo Afrika!” to total strangers at the zebra crossing. And when we walk, many of those strangers become friends for a second, they come and shake hands, ask “How are you” and they move on, leaving a bright smile on my kids faces.  

Naturally, they have asked a lot of questions about why is papa black, why am I white and why are they brown. I come up with the simple biology, I do not mystify it for them. I think it is important to give them all the answers, because it will hopefully help them find out later, who they really are. Many times, especially the boys say, “I am an African man”. I leave it like that. Naturally they know very well about their Hungarian roots too. They speak Hungarian fluently, it is very important for me. But we all know, for the average people here they will be considered black (even if they are born here and never ever travel to Africa in their whole life). So it makes me very happy that they are proud of their Igbo roots. As an outsider, I think it is quite complicated to be a mixed child. They belong to two cultures but many people of those cultures will deny them, especially on the European side. It makes things even more complicated if they grow up with only one of the parents. They may feel they do not belong anywhere, if we do not empower them at an early age. I would like my kids to be proud of what they are. I believe that they have a very important place in this society. I think they are wonderful teachers, at least that is what I see on my own kids. My babies teach me a lot about love and acceptance. They share their love so easily and so openly, both to black and white people. They break prejudice in many people. Frankly speaking, they take my breath away.

Two different cultures live inside them and it has hard sides and good ones also. I wish they can find the perfect balance and get benefits from both of us.  I have met some Afroeuropean adults who are not so happy. I keep wondering did their parents make mistakes while raising them? This has given me many sleepless nights. Can we do something to help our children? To empower them, to let them see how rich they are, I created these T-shirts. (The text is about food, but of course this is not only about food…lol) My 11 years old laughed at it so much! This is exactly us! he said. I think these Tees are also fun for Africans who live in Europe. Anybody who comes here and lives and copes in a totally different foreign land is already a Superhero.

In the webshop you can find the T-shirts here for grown-ups and here for kids.

#mixedfamiliesrock #not1ortheotherbutBoth #worldmosaic